an answer to grief

It's February, but the weather around here has been more of a false spring. Balmy rains and warm weather tricked the trees into blooming early, and I wanted to buy into it. Last Thursday, I propped open the back door while I was in the dish pit, and kept finding reasons to go out to the... Continue Reading →

the black-eyed woman

It's September of 2019, and I'm still revising a draft I started almost a year ago. A lot happens in the space of one year. So many things have changed. I feel like I don't contain the same cells. Like someone rewrote my code. Maybe they did. I'm not the same person I was a... Continue Reading →

seven months

The date took me by surprise today. I was scribbling down my schedule--I travel so much these days, it’s hard to keep the days straight--when I realized I’d forgotten what the day was. Grief is funny like that. It’s taken seven months, but here I am, finally at the point where it’s no longer piercing... Continue Reading →

everything feels better now

August 18, 2016. On this day, I made a historic victory by walking to my mailbox for the first time in months. August 18, 2017. I’m sorting a week’s worth of clothes for the road. Streamlining, rolling every necessary bit of my life into thin, lean cylinders. There’s only so much that fits in a... Continue Reading →

Stars

On the 18th, ten years and one day since Papa died, Gramma followed.  I loved them both very, very much.  ...There isn't a way to express how much.  I got to have more time with my grandmother. Anyone who loses someone who formed and shaped their life with love knows there is no such thing... Continue Reading →

Marching on

Happy March. From what I can tell driving around the countryside, it seems spring is on the way. Updates have been a bit slow as I am now part of a delivery team driving freight all over the continental US. I edit, I drive, and I try to stay on top of the rest of... Continue Reading →

hello, 2017

Too much has changed since the last time I wrote here. There aren't enough words. There are too many words. The last time I wrote here, I was in a completely different life. I had a house, and an office, and a desk. A small cat family. I had... Well, I don't have any of... Continue Reading →

Stigma

Many months have passed since the last blog post. I usually try to find something to say at least once a month, but May, June, and July passed in silence. What is there to say on a public platform when it's all intensely personal? There are certain things that are acceptable to talk about as... Continue Reading →

“I think I can”

Lately, my life has been very chaotic. And while chaos is pretty much my norm, it's rare for me to go for months at a time with no lulls. Lulls are important. They are the oases by which I chart my course, because I know that in the lull, I'll finally be able to breathe.... Continue Reading →

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